Time Is Not On My Side...

I've decided that with all the things in my life going on right now and all of the things about to begin, this blog shall be put on the back burner for the time being.

August is super busy!  Nora's swim lessons, Darrenn on second shift (i.e. no help at night), college (going back full time!) starts on the 23rd.  Whew!  I'm tired just thinking about it.  Plus, since you all know I'm baking a little person, my energy level is non-existent and I've got nasty morning sickness all day (but especially the morning when I would blog).

So, it was a fun summer thing to do but now it's back to the ol' routine.  Thanks for reading my blogs and I look forward to reading yours, too.  :)

God bless!

Today's Thought of the Day

It is better to worry about the quality of your children, and not the quantity.

Visiting the Wild and New Sewing Projects

Well my last post (which is still to be continued...) had too many people upset, so on to more happy things!

If you live in my town, there's a neat website called Groupon where they dish out daily coupons to attractions around town (actually, to around many towns besides mine!).  Recently they had a coupon for half off a year membership to the city's zoo.  Darrenn and I decided to jump on it.  Today we got to use it in action!

I can't remember the last time I went to that zoo.  Oh wait, yes I can: I think it was about 10 or 11 years ago.  Haha!  I remember it being hot, crowded, and stressful (thanks to my grandma trying to keep track of my brother and I in the huge crowd).  I also remember it being fun, but not remembering anything I saw.  Well it was super fun today!  It's a very open zoo; and by that I mean peacocks roam the grounds, you can walk right up to a giraffe with only a small fence between you, and ravens fly about everywhere (like the one that almost skimmed Nora).  They separate the animals by continents: Asia, Africa, and South America.  Even though we went on a very humid day (the monsoon weather is indecisive and cannot make up its mind as to whether or not to rain so it's just been downright New England-style humid), there's plenty of shade so it's not too unbearable.

We saw the whole zoo in a little over an hour.  I highly recommend going with your little one(s) if you live in town.  I think it's really worth your time and money.  And if you're a little nervous about how close your little ones can get to the animals, don't worry:  they only let the people-friendly ones near people.  The more "dangerous" ones are never going to get near you or your loved ones.

Besides that, I bought some blackout fabric from Joann's today to adhere to Nora's roman shade hanging in her nursery.  The shade is way too thin (and white) so any glimmer of light can show through which makes nap time non-existent in that room.  In desperation, I've pinned together two fleece blankets of hers and hung that up to block out a lot of the sun, but it looks so tacky and falls apart frequently.  I love the roman shade, though, so I wanted to just tweak it a little to be a blackout roman shade.  After much advice from a couple of sweet grandmas who work at JoAnn's, I bought the fabric and some spray adhesive to bond it to the shade fabric.  I ripped out the seems where the dowels go so I could lay the fabric flat on the floor, sprayed it with the adhesive and put the two pieces together.  Before I take the time and effort to sew it back together, I want to test it tonight to see how much sun it blocks out.  I think it'll work, but I just wanted to make sure.  Once I am satisfied with it's job of keeping the sun out, I'll finish that project up in no time.

So, that's all for now.  Good night!

Uncertainty and Struggles

I do believe my body has rebelled against me.  It has sometimes thorn curve balls to me in the past, but nothing like this.

My husband and I practice Natural Family Planning--the Creighton Model to be exact.  Being devout Catholics, our Church promotes using NFP as the only moral way to avoid and achieve pregnancy.  When we got engaged, we quickly signed up for classes at our local hospital.  Never did I imagine this method being not only effective and fairly easy to do, but so eye-opening to my own body.  I had a WHOA!  This is awesome! moment a few months into it because I felt so in control of my body and cycles.  No more guessing, no more well that's weird thinking inside my head.  It's a wonderful tool.  You can learn more about it here so you can get to know the vocabulary and won't be confused reading this post.

Everything was simple with my cycles.  Black and white.  By the textbook.

Then I had Nora.  No, actually, then I started breastfeeding.  Yes, breastfeeding.

It was like I was ovulating every other day!  I had no menses, so no beginning and end of cycles and my discharge almost always looked like peak type mucus.  I was so confused for about 7 months.  At that point we got back together with our NFP coach who told us not to worry, my cycles had not come back and that I would quickly remember what real peak type mucus looks and feels like when it comes around.  She was right (she's always right).  Two months later, my cycles came back and all was well.  That was January of this year.

Come May.

Had a new cycle start up.  Thought I had some stress in my life that was messing my cycle up, but I still was pretty sure I ovulated.  Then the weirdest thing happened to me.  Just out of the blue I started feeling strange. Like, not normal physically.  Can't really explain it more than just that.  Something was different, I could tell.  The next day or so, whenever Nora latched on, it hurt crazy bad to nurse her.  Holy frick, it was painful!  That triggered a memory in my head at a past La Leche League meeting where a few of the moms were talking about how they knew they were pregnant by the pain they had when nursing.  I decided to take a pregnancy test: it came back negative.  A few days went by and I started feeling weirder and weirder and nursing still hurt.  Took another test: negative.  Waited another week, took another one: negative.  Another one a little later: negative.  I finally decided to go to my OB/GYN to get a blood test for the pregnancy hormone.  Negative.  Blood doesn't lie, right?  At that point, Darrenn and I were really hoping that we were pregnant because then that would've solved everything. But, now I had no idea what was wrong with me.

I began looking up my symptoms and quickly narrowed it down to two conditions: an ovarian cyst or an ectopic pregnancy.  Bad and worse.  I was so scared.  I quickly got on the phone to schedule an appointment with my doctor.  The quickest they could get me in was 5 days from then.  Everyday up to then I kept hoping that my period would come or my symptoms would disappear or, even, a pregnancy test would come back positive.  None of those things happened.

My doctor said there seemed to be nothing wrong with me.  She did a pelvic examine and found nothing out of the normal.  She decided to have me take another blood test to test for my hormone levels.

Those results didn't get back to me for 6 days.  I swear it seemed like 2 weeks.  Finally they called me: "Your hormone levels are all normal.  There seems to be nothing wrong."  Seriously???  "So, could you leave a message for Dr. Sherman, please?"  "Sure."  "Could you ask her what the heck I should do now?"  She chuckles "Absolutely."  "Thanks."

Got a call from them yesterday saying they're mailing me paperwork to get a pelvic ultrasound to see if there's anything abnormal.  That should be in my mailbox tomorrow.  Right from the mailbox, I'll be heading over to get it done.

Meanwhile, this is day 65 of this cycle with no changes.  Thankfully, nursing isn't as painful as it once was, but it's still not "normal".

I'll let you know how the ultrasound goes.

Pray for me.  Thanks.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Do you have a wish list with items that you would love to have (and know would go great with your lifestyle) but are way out of your budget? Well, here's my top 5 things I'd love to have but can only dream about:

5) Crate & Barrel's Sierra Bed
--This is amazing.  It would go perfectly with the decor I'm using to update out bedroom.  It's light and fresh, and can go with many different decor option if we decide to change it or move.  Plus, I'm an "adult" and therefore deserve "adult" bedroom furniture.  Hehe!

4) Ergo Baby Carrier

--I have a Moby Wrap right now and I love it, but Nora has gotten too big to fit in the front and you need someone to put her on your back if you want to wear the baby in the back.  This carrier seems like a lot less work to fit her in the back position.  I love the design and think I could really benefit from it.  Though, I still love my Moby, it's best for little babies.

3) Phil & Teds Sport Buggy V2 Stroller with a doubles kit and backseat sunshade so the end result looks like this minus the sunshade.

--Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, I love this thing!  Too bad it cost an arm and a leg because this thing can be a single OR double stroller with only the attachment of an extra seat.  No big bulky stroller that you can't take to stores because it takes up the entire aisle!  Plus it pushes really smoothly and is very versatile.  It's just purty!

2) LG SteamWasher™ and SteamDryer™ Full-Size Washer/Dryer Combo with Allergiene™ Cycle

--A washer and dryer that can get rid of pesky allergies from your clothes and linens.  For someone like me who's allergic to nearly every airborne allergy, 'nuff said.

And my #1 dream item:

1) Mazda 5

--This may actually be only a dream for just a few months.  It's nicknamed "The Mini Mini Van".  Smaller in size than a regular mini van but still spacious enough inside to seat 6.  Great gas mileage, too.  This is our dream car and we're pretty sure we can get it.

So, that's my list.  Hey, a mom can dream, right?  ;)

Four Score and Seven Years...

Plus a few hundred more.  Happy Independence Day!

I can already smell the hamburgers and hot dogs.  I can see the fireworks.  I can hear my crazy family talking about something that has gotten my mom worked up.  Ha!  Another holiday has come.

I always love the PBS special they have in Washington D.C.  They do such a good job every year.  Last year was fun with the big anniversary of the Muppets.  But in all seriousness, that production is always so patriotic and wonderfully American.

It must've been one hell of a day on July 4, 1776.  Could you imagine our founding fathers, in a sense, signing their lives away with the Declaration of Independence?  It was a total death wish.  But they did it anyway, because freedom, to them, was worth so much that they didn't care if they died fighting for it.  Incredible.

My younger brother is a counselor up at our city's big Boy Scout summer camp.  He's teaching a few Eagle Scout merit badges with one being Citizenship in the Nation.  He came back down the mountain where its held yesterday fit to be tied because only two kids this past week knew what the Declaration of Independence was.  Yes, two.  Benjamin Franklin must be spinning in his grave to know that our children today have next to no knowledge of their nation's history.  It's such a sad, sad thing.  The worst part is, in my opinion, that if one doesn't know history, one is bound to repeat it.  Usually, that never goes well.  So, moms in the blogging world, be sure to teach your children history.  Because, judging from the kids at Scout camp, the schools are not.

My dad minored in History at the University of Arizona "when dinosaurs still roamed the earth" as he likes to put it.  Because my parents home schooled my brother and I, we got to travel...a lot.  And wherever we went, there was always a museum, battlefield, fort, or mansion that we had to see.  Every trip consisted of at least three history lessons.  I used to hate it.  I thought if you've seen one battlefield, you've seen them all.  But, today I am so thankful that my parents gave us those opportunities to learn so much from wherever we went.  I really hope to give the great gift of travel to my children.  You can learn so much visiting another place.  Way more than staying in a public school for a week.

So, I'll get off my soapbox now.  I wish you all a wonderful Independence Day!  Don't get too sunburned.  Don't overeat.  And don't forget the reasons why you live in the land of the free.

Sol-U-Mel

That, ^, my friends, is my new best friend. Sol-U-Mel comes from a company called Melaleuca. Melaleuca is an online store that sells plant-based products for cheaps. The only things they don't sell is paper goods and food (except cereal and health bars). Sol-U-Mel is their coolest product. It's 100% melaleuca oil (a tree oil indigenous to Australia) which is an anti-bacterial, super-duper stain remover, spot lifter, anything-you-can-think-of-it-will-clean cleaner. It's amazing.

Yes, folks, amazing. It's so amazing, it cleaned my granite fireplace after Nora got a hold of a sharpie and scribbled all over it. It can clean crayon markings off walls. It can disinfect a cut on your finger. It gets ink stains out of clothes. It disinfects dirty cloth diapers (or shower curtain liners, or carpets that have been peed on...haha!). Anything. You can even add it to any of your favorite cleaners to enhance their performance!

It comes in two different sizes--16 fl. oz. and 8 fl. oz. I have the 8 fl. oz. which only cost me, as a member of Melaleuca, $10.99, plus an empty spray bottle for $1.49. It is the highest concentration of this tree oil out there on the market, so my little bottle will last me months because one only needs a tiny cap-full here and there. You can mix it with water (hence the spray bottle) to make it an awesome cleaner or just use the straight stuff for those really hard stains.

So, if you want some, as well as to try any of the other amazing products Melaleuca has to offer (like the best dish washing detergent we've ever found--and we've tried because of our really hard water--it's so refreshing to walk by the dish washer while its on and not smell chlorine coming out the vent), check out their website, ask me, or whatever. You can help me get my Melaleuca products free every month if you decide to join. Right now, until July 20th, you can join for $1.07, instead of the usual $39 membership fee. All they ask of you is make a purchase once a month with a minimum of 35 product points (each product is worth so many points). One more awesome detail: they'll give you $20 to spend for 5 consecutive months after the month you join. That's $100 of free product! Oh, and did I mention the rebates and discounts you get from other stores (like Target, Sears, and Borders to name a few) just by being a Melaleuca member?? Yeah, it's pretty nice. Think about it!

Merci!

Today's Thought of the Day

Nora and I have been breastfeeding since day one and have enjoyed it so much.

So, when one of my Facebook friends put this as her status, it made me smile...

Thought of the day: Jesus was breastfed.

Amen!

Nora

So, I realized in my last post (after I published it, of course) that I gave away my daughter's name in the last picture. I, for some reason, wanted to keep it private, but since that's been defenestrated, I think I'll talk a little bit about...Nora. :)

Here she is at almost 15 months (next week). Ain't she a doll?

She has her mother's hard head and her father's creativity. This equals a very energetic, crazy, go-go-go little girl. My hubby and I are really hoping that somewhere deep down in our gene patterns there are some mellow genes that will all miraculously be given to our next one, because if we get another Nora, we can say goodbye to boring for the next 20 years or so. Oh, but she makes me laugh so many times a day, and I find her smile/bellylaugh/kisses/grunts/tumbles/babbles/toddle/curiosity to be so intoxicating. She's perfect.

So Nora. When I was pregnant with her, neither of us liked our choice of names for babies. So, we compromised and decided that if it was a girl, I would name her and if it was a boy, he would name him (the funny thing is we've since agreed on random names very easily that we both came up with. Go figure). Well, needless to say, I got to name her. I love the name Nora--I actually really love the character from an old black and white movie collection called "The Thin Man" in which the main female character's name is Nora Charles. Nick and Nora Charles remind me of hubby and I in many ways. I might as well throw my husband's name out there, since it seems to be the theme lately. His name is Darrenn. How he has two N's to his name is a whole other story. I just love this series. But, I did not just name my kid solely on a fictional movie character. The name Nora is a pet form of Honorah (pronounced AHN-ora) which comes from the Latin word for honor. I also found out that it's a variant of Honorius.

Well, being the anal person that I am, the first and middle names of my firstborn were going to make sense when translated. So, another name I like is Corinne, which happens to be the name of a few women in my father's family (my aunt's middle name, my cousin's middle name, and my great-aunt's name). By chance, I found out that it is French for maiden. So, my daughter is Nora Corinne, an honorable maiden. I found two names that go great together and have some great connections to my religion, my English blood, the family that is my maiden name, and the language that I'm studying in college (ahem, French). Win!

So that's Nora.

The New Crib Linens

I've finally found a spot of time to type this up! Yay! I must be the worst blogger of all time with my inconsistent blogging. Hehe!

So, I found an online tutorial of how to make a crib sheet and was very excited to find out it is not very hard at all. So here's it in a nutshell...

Cutting out the corners. If you read the above tutorial, then you'd know how she fit it to size with the elastic. I went ahead and took her what-I-should-have-done advice and made a seam all the way around and then threading through elastic to make it clean underneath.

My little sewing space. This is why I delayed sewing these things for way too long--I have to set this all up and break it all down since it's smack dab in the middle of my living room. Our dream house will have a designated sewing space. :)

I now have two best friends coming out of this project: Heat 'n' Bond and Velcro. That sums up the skirt. I hemmed all the sides with Heat 'n' Bond and then Velcro'd it to the crib base. No, I am not this creative to come up with it. I used this YouTube tutorial from my new favorite home improvement blogging couple. The only sewing I had to do was sew a pleat in the front panel because I realized my stripes were the wrong way on the fabric so I had to put two pieces together to turn the stripes from horizontal to vertical (as well as make it long enough to cover the front).

Ta-da! The final project all put together!

I'm very happy with the way it turned out. Thanks to the internet, N now has a beautiful, one-of-kind sheet and skirt to call her own. It looks fabulous in the room and makes such a statement.

Doing Things Differently

I was bored (well, bored enough) the other day and started to day dream a little: What would I do differently with the next baby (whenever s/he decides to make his/her presence known to us) from what I did with this one? So, since I have a little time right now, I think I'll brainstorm a little.

For starters, I know one thing that I want to be different: Not another c-section! For those of you who don't know, my labor was being really boring initially, so they put me on Pitocin, followed (not immediately) by an epidural, followed by more Pitocin, followed by N being in Fetal Distress, followed by emergency c-section 17 hours after my water broke. I had to be put under because, even though I had that epidural (which I hated because it made me sick and the loss of feeling in my legs freaked me out--I think that's from my dancing history) I could still feel them cutting me, so they put me under, which I think now was a blessing, because I probably would've not done well not being able to hold my baby and then watch her being taken away while I got sewed up. I missed all of that and I'm glad for it. But I still hated the c-section. I hated the recovery. I hated how much breastfeeding hurt when my uterus was trying to shrink down after being surgically opened. Hated it all; and I hated it for a while afterwards. I think I was in denial early on (at least while a Postpartum Depression nurse calls you up to make sure you're okay) but then I had a hard time with it a few months after her birth. Now it's all good--I'm fine with it. Just, never again.

I've done plenty of research about a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) and I know my risks. I've also done plenty of research about a RCS (Repeart Cesarean Section) and I know my risks there as well. I'm educated in both situations and I choose VBAC. It's not for everyone, but a RCS is not for me. Now, don't worry, if there's a medical problem prior to birth where it is obviously better to do a RCS (i.e. Placenta Previa), I'll do it. I'm not going to risk our lives if I know it's not safe. Be that as it may, if I'm healthy and the pregnancy is healthy, I'm doing a VBAC, and that's that.

Okay, moving on. Next to change for #2 would be a midwife. My Ob/Gyn was not even present for N's birth because she wasn't on call (I've spoken to other moms who have her and we're not sure when she's ever on call...) so I had a new doctor who had a mind of his own. Never again. It's a midwife for me. It will be someone who will listen to me and what I want done and will look into alternative treatments besides drugs and will help me through it all. Now, it won't be just any midwife; it'll be one at the Tucson Birth & Women's Health Center, right next door to Tucson Medical Center, so if there should be an emergency, an OR is just a hop skip and a jump away.

Next, making the switch to cloth diapers. I've had it with these disposables. Sure, they're convenient, but they're also super expensive, full of gross chemicals, sit in landfills for ever and always, and come with gross and smelly diaper pails (we have a Diaper Genie II Elite which certainly is not the greatest invention, for sure). Sure, I know that cloth diapers also come with gross and smelly diaper pails, but I also know that there's an enzyme/bacteria eating spray that you spray on the diapers prior to inserting them in the pail to get rid of the smell. You can't do that with disposables. Plus the wool ones would be awesome since we have rash-prone skin in our home and a breathable cover just makes sense. Besides the smell (duh), and the fact that I'm sure one needs to change cloths more frequently than disposables, I see nothing wrong with these things. Heck, if my mom could do it, so can I. Ha!

Something else I would change is getting a better sleep pattern started earlier then I did with N. She slept in a Co-Sleeper Bassinet initially until 1) she got her nights and days straight, 2) I felt comfortable enough to get up and feed without hurting, and 3) we got a crib (yeah, we didn't get the crib until she was 4 months old but when someone buys you something really nice, like a crib you can't really afford, you work with their schedule). Now that we have a crib, kid #2 is going in there before 4 months old. N was nursed to sleep, which, IMHO, should've have been done away with around 2 or 3 months old because she relied on it by 4 months. So, whenever she woke up, she had to nurse to get back to sleep. Now, I don't mind night nursings at all, but somewhere deep down inside me I truly believe if a baby can be put to sleep on his/her own at 3 months-ish, I think the kid would sleep better than somebody (N still wakes up too many times a night at 14 months). Plus, after about 2 months of that, I shut down inside. My body just can't do it anymore. Especially having N with her "sleep patterns", I'd really be in a world of hurt with another one added in the mix.

I do believe those are my only things I'd want to change. They're major things, but I'd rather have 4 big things to change then 15 little things to change. I really have had (and still have!) a wonderful time raising N. She's such a sweet little girl. And I really don't think these changes have anything to do with her. It really have everything to do with me! Funny how that is.

If anyone with children actually reads my blog, I want to hear from you! Is there anything you will do with a second (or third, or fourth...) child (or if you're done having children, was there anything that you would've changed thinking about it now) that you haven't already tried?

PS: Pretty soon I'll update you with N's room and our home improvement whatnots. I promise!

Potty Training

OK, I know what you're thinking when you read the title: Why is she talking about potty training when N is little?? Is she nuts?? To answer your question, possibly. But, it's not entirely what you think. Let me explain.

Hubby, N and I are going to Europe next August (2011) for World Youth Day, a Catholic Young Adult Pilgrimage, if you will, that Pope John Paul II started in the '80's and Pope Benedict XVI continues to celebrate. Every year, it's held in the Vatican except every third year when it's held somewhere else. We went to WYD Sydney for our honeymoon two years ago and are very much looking forward to WYD Madrid. Because we're planing a good two week excursion in España, I really (really) don't want to pack diapers. So, my thought is, since N will be two years and four months old then, we'd potty train her prior to the trip. Well, I've been looking online recently about what's the "normal" age to start potty training and found some surprising stuff. Most of the websites I looked at say there's no age to start, but rather the child must be aware s/he is aware of his/her body's way to go to the bathroom (to put it nicely), basically. I went on to look at some mom forums and a lot of the moms were starting their kids with potty training at N's age right now or even earlier (she's 14 months yesterday, if you're not sure)! I read on to find out that they were doing this three-part training session:

Step 1: is for them to understand that they did something (need a change of diaper).
Step 2: is for them to be able to tell you in some way and understand that they are doing something when they do it.
Step 3: is for them to tell you before they need to in order to be able to go to the toilet.

The whole process, they say, takes about 10-15 months to complete. I kinda like the idea, since there's no pressure because it's such a long process, and now I know so I won't be fretting later on when time is running out.

So, am I really starting potty training? Not really, but it's good to keep it in mind when changing her diaper. Do I want to start potty training? Yes, please. I hate changing diapers.

So, let me turn it around to you: When did you start/will start potty training? I'd love to hear from you!

Busy!

I do apologize for not posting anything on here...all week. I do have an excuse, though! N did not sleep well at all last week and I decided that my house was in dire need of cleaning (since I'm pretty sure it only got cleaned twice during the semester). As I'm sure many of you know, cleaning a house sleep deprived and with a toddler takes at least a week. Ha! So, now that my house is clean, and N slept well last night, I'm here.

The fabric for N's bed is cleaned, but still in a nice folded pile as just sheets of fabric on my shelf in my bedroom. That will definitely be my project this week. The balcony is fine for now--not completely finished but it'll do. Cleaning it out plus the old tool cabinet was a huge project we did in two days. All the stuff they left behind in that cabinet was nuts (like a bottle of acetone left outside for I'm sure too many Tucson summers). Our next project is to get rid of old paint that our landlords left. Apparently, you can't just toss paint cans with old paint still in liquid form since it could potentially leak out of the can and into the dumpster, and possibly out of the dumpster and onto the street. Then there's the hazard it causes at landfills...so, hubby and I need to get rid of it the better way. One is supposed to hardened the paint inside and then it can be tossed. Thankfully, our landlord also left us a small bag of concrete. Nice, huh? That shouldn't be too hard of a project.

In other news, this past week I found out about this great company called Melaleuca. It's an online store that carries only plant/fruit/vegetable-based products. They have cleaning supplies, skin and hair care, makeup, cereals, energy/weight-loss bars, vitamins galore, dental supplies, candles/air fresheners, and a couple other thing that I'm sure I'm forgetting. I really like the sound of the products, and one of my mommy friends swears by it all. You subscribe (like a Costco subscription) and then just "switch stores". Right now, until the 15th, you only have to pay $1 for subscription (instead of $29) and all of the product is at wholesale price. All you have to do to stay with Melaleuca is purchase a certain amount of product points (each product is worth an amount of points) each month. We'll be putting in our first order this week so I'll let you know what we think of the products!

Anyway, I've got to go--N is awake and hanging off of me while trying to get to my laptop...have a great Sunday!

So Much Dust

We tackled the balcony today. Here's some progress:

Before. We just stashed stuff out there...because we could:

She was leaning against the screen door and got dirt all over herself. The only thing that came to mind when we saw her was "Please, sir, I want some more."

The after as of today. We're not done yet!

N in hubby's new tool cabinet (aka toy). She was none too pleased, however...or maybe she was crying with sympathy over the fact that we had to carry that gigantic thing up the stairs (held by three people):

He loooooves it:

That cabinet will go outside and replace the current one that's falling apart. That way he can keep all of his tools in one place and we gain a closet indoors. Yes!

So, ta-da! That's all folks.

Update on the Toddler Room

They say "three times is the lucky charm" and I believe 'em--at least when it comes to finding awesome fabric to use in one's toddler's room. After hitting two stores with little to no success, I went to Quilters Market. And look what I found there:

Je les aime! The floral pattern will be the crib, er, the "big girl bed" sheet and the striped pattern will be the skirt. I think there is a bit more green than what I wanted, but I was drawn to the big purple flowers on it (just the tone of purple that I was looking for to match the rest of her room's decor), and when I got home I noticed that the yellow flowers and blue buds go great with the colors on the wall. It also helped that these two fabrics were right next to each other on the shelf--it felt as if they were saying to me "Hi. We coordinate perfectly. Pick us. You know you want to. C'mon..." So, I chose them.

Not sure when I'm going to start sewing though. It probably won't be until Tuesday or so when hubby goes back to work. While he's home, we're cleaning. By cleaning I mean chucking everything that was either once the landlord's (who never wanted it back) or is ours and want nothing to do with it. There's a lot of junk. We'll be busy this weekend.

The ups and downs of motherhood

Today was one of those days where I was questioning God's reasoning behind making me a mother. I mean, I know God won't ever give me more than I can handle, but today certainly pushed the envelope.

For starters, she woke up crying last night around 2am and wouldn't go back to sleep. Later on today my mom and I deduced that it was because I dropped night feedings (since her dentist recommended it to prevent this almost-cavity she has from being a bonafide cavity). I did this at the beginning of the week, and she's been fine...until last night. I gave in and let her sleep with us attached to me for the rest of the night. Needless to say, hubby and I did not get much sleep last night.

This morning she wasn't eating much, just nursing a lot, which put me behind schedule. I was trying to get all my work together for my boss while printing out invitations for this shower I've been posting about. I ended up being an hour and half late to my boss' place, and cancelling a meeting I had planned with the mommy-to-be of said shower so we could address and mail out the invites. My hubby laid in bed all morning because he chooses to not figure out how to function without 8 whole hours of sleep. He finally got up to take his usual half-hour shower because I told him we had to run errands today. Please pray for him to turn into a morning person. Thanks.

We went to my parents' house late in the morning (so my mom could notarize a document for my boss) where N cried every time she saw me. It was really making me jittery and stressed. Hubby drove me to my boss' house which gave me the opportunity to vent in the car ride. That totally helped. My hubby has so much patience because I vent to him all of the time, and he always has some uplifting thing to say in response. He's the best. Even if he does take showers three times the length of mine.

I was feeling better when we got home from all the errands. N was super tired so I made her lay down with me in my bed. Instead of trying to sleep, she decided to crawl all over me, kick me, head-butt me, coo and giggle, and nurse. I was tolerating all of it until she pulled away from my breast while still being latched on. The only way I can describe what she did to me was her mouth was an itty-bitty suction cup on me and it was yanked away. Well, that did it. She went to her bed. I was so mad at her. Right about that time hubby had to go to work. I was left alone listening to N scream her guts out in her bed as I picked up the living room to start on cleaning the house for company tomorrow. For some reason, I clean when I'm mad. Go figure.

The screaming was getting worse, so I knew something was wrong. I came into her room and sat on her bed. She calmed right down and we just stared at each other. She wasn't coming near me and I wasn't coming near her. Finally, I gave in and started rubbing her back. She kept pointing to the dining room table and then I remembered that she only ate like 5 spoonfuls of baby food at lunch. Oh my goodness, I've been starving my child! Immediately, I put her in her high chair and gave her so many yummy morsels of food she loves to eat. She ate half of everything, which is pretty darn good for her! I put some music on and started dancing around the table. N was dancing in her chair. It was so cute. I picked her up and we danced together. She loved it. I loved it. Life was good.

I then felt adventurous. I decided to put N in her high chair next to the kitchen counter so she could watch me make some sugar cookies. With my back turned to her for 2 minutes, she managed to grab the stick of butter on the counter and eat a fourth of it. I freaked out! I had more butter, but that just wigged me out. After getting uber antzy in her chair, I put her down to finish the cookies. Fifteen minutes or so later, she walks up to me and gives me the portable wipes container. I took it from her and then my heart went into my stomach--it was empty. A half-full container of organic wipes had been pulled out and scattered all over the living room floor. They were all ruined. In addition to that, the living room floor was just like it was before I cleaned it. It was like I hadn't done a thing.

Thankfully, that was the last crazy episode with her today. After dinner, we took a stroll to the mailbox. She was being so cute looking at all of the flowers and plants along the path. She even climbed all the way up our complex staircase to our front door! Boy was she quick, too! She amazes me.

I decided to stay with her while she fell asleep in her bed--I just sat in the glider and pretended to be asleep. She was a lot calmer with me in the room. She was sitting up in her crib trying not to give in to her sleepiness. She started sucking her thumb and swaying back and forth and nodding off, yet fighting it all the way. Finally, she laid down and went to sleep. It was so adorable, it took a lot of effort for me not to chuckle at her.

So, at the end of the day I realized why God made me a mother--to grow closer to Him through her: with her curiosity, her taste for adventure, her cute moments, and her not so cute moments. He's showing me just how good of a person I can be by taking care of her, learning from her, having patience with her, and growing with her. God made me a mother because this is what was chosen for me to better live in His presence, together with His Son, my Savior. I thank God for my vocation and look to my Savior's Mother for guidance.

I guess today wasn't so bad after all.

God is good.

Jealousy and Closure (literally!)

I do believe N hates it when I'm on the computer. I think she's jealous of the time I spend on it. That, or she wants the computer all to herself! I can't decide which. Maybe it's both?? See, I usually am on my laptop at the dining room table because my desk is always a chaotic paper landslide waiting to happen. I have a problem keeping that thing clean, plus I just don't like to work in the room it is in--N's nursery. I have found that I never get anything done in that room thanks to ...somebody... Yet, even at the dining room table it doesn't take N too long to realize what I'm doing and then it's total devastation at my legs with the "I'm going to diiiiiiiieeeeeeee if you don't pick me uuuuuuuupppppppppppppppp!" cry. So I pick her up and immediately she's pounding on my keyboard.

I also check on things on my bed where I usually keep N since she'd be crying that same ol' cry on the floor anyway. When she has full ability to get to my laptop she grabs it, then proceeds to open and close it, change settings on it (I'm serious, she just pounds on random keys and they turn out to be real keyboard shortcuts), and today she was sitting on it--purposely! Weird kid.

So, my MIL was thinking of getting her and my nephew both V-Tech kiddie computers (he has a laptop obsession too, I hear). Not quite sure this is necessary. I think N will still want mine. So, I guess the only thing to do here is get off this thing or wait till she's asleep.

I do realize that this is a random and, most likely, a useless post but it was on my mind today....

In other news, WE CLOSED ON THE CONDO TODAY! Finally.

Renovations!

So, my hubby and I are buying the condo we currently live in (our landlords have too much of a financial strain to keep this place) come Tuesday. It's been a four-month process. After attempting to buy it the "traditional" way with a conventional loan, no investor wanted to put the "whopping" $28,000 down for us to buy it. Thankfully, it's not us. Unthankfully (is that even a word?), it's the complex. It all boils down to the investors didn't like the high amount of delinquents living here and have condemned the HOA. After many, many weeks and mucho stress, we found out we could pay the seller upfront with a down payment through the title company we have our contract with, then simply pay a one lump payment each month for the title company to divide up to the respective personnels. YES!

You know what this means, boys and girls...it's renovation time!

I'm so excited, I can hardly contain myself. Seriously! I've always loved decorating and have immense joy doing it, even though it's a pain (figuratively and literally). Nevertheless, it's always worth it in the end when done properly.

The condo right now is a messy, cluttered, non-directional place of a home that seriously needs some TLC. We attempted to make it personal when we moved in here in 2008, but that was then and this is, well, adulthood. Then, we liked eclectic, bold, whateverness to be in each room. Now (I really can only speak for myself when I say this), we like calm, natural, ordered havens for each room (I guess this is the mom part of me in search for some serenity in her abode). My hubby sure as heck doesn't care one bit for decorations, he just wants some function to everything (which I ain't turning down). I think when we put our thinking caps on, both ideas will happily join in design matrimony and live happily ever after, until we move to a bigger place (probably when baby #2 decides to make his/her presence known to us...hopefully when I come close to finishing/finish my undergrad).

I will keep you updated on this for sure.

In other news, I'm redecorating N's room. She has now graduated to being a big girl. There is no more crib, but instead a converted crib to toddler bed. So, instead of breaking down in tears because she's growing up too fast, I decided to look on the bright side: update her room to a big girl room and have fun redecorating. So, I am now embarking on sewing a new sheet and skirt (yes sewing; the stuff in stores at my budget is too cutesy. My kid will be fabulously chic at 14 months and I won't be overpaying for it, thankyouverymuch) plus maybe a changing table cover, since I never bought one and have been using a blanket (which is getting old). Pictures to follow.

Update: my mommy-to-be found a place for the shower and I reserved it. Hooray! Now we can get things rolling.

Oh my...I just realized how long my to-do list is. It's going to be a full summer!

Baby shower woes

I love celebrating the vocation of parenthood. I love anything to do with babies. I have for...as long as I can remember, for sure. In fact, when I had to fill out my home school community's yearbook in grade school and it asked me what my career goal was I put "Go to college then become a Mother" for 5 or so years in a row. Well, I almost got what I wanted in the order I preferred, just a little switching around. My point is, if the opportunity arises where I can celebrate moms, dads, and babies, I will. So it comes as no suprise that I offered to host a baby shower for one of my childhood friends and her hubby. Well, I do believe I have bitten off more than I can chew with this one. I mean, it's not my choices that have made this stressful (but I'm sure there will be times when this is true in the future, knowing me. Ha!), it's just that...I can't find a room to have this shower.

Believe me when I say I've looked. I mean, I've really looked. I have been calling people all over town (well mostly in the area that my friend and ALL her family and friends are) and I either get "We don't do that type of thing here" or no phone call back at all (word to the wise: if you're a professional buisness and when someone calls you inquiring about your services and/or facilities, call them back). I have been on the phone constantly for about a week and a half now with no luck. All during finals time, too. ::sigh::

To top it all off, my lovely mommy-to-be has been texting me every few days wondering how the invitations have been going. I keep reminding her that they won't be ready until I find a place to have the shower. Thankfully, I found the perfect invitation on ETSY (which is the best website for all things homemade) and all I have to do is pay $15 for her to personalize then I get to print that master copy as many times as I want from whatever printer I want. It's brilliant! It's just this darn searching for a venue!

I reminded her yet again a minute ago, so we'll see how this goes! Wish me luck!

Monday, Monday...

So, the stereotypical day (and by that I mean Mondays suck) has unfolded...

Let's see, what hasn't gone wrong today?

My teeth cleaning went well.
Got the laundry done.
...

That's about it.

What has gone wrong?

N spilled milk (organic milk that costs an arm and a leg to buy--I like to call it Liquid Gold) all down her PJ's this morning.
Late for teeth cleaning.
Found a dead lady bug in my lunch.
Nap time was awful.

I totally snapped today, too. Laughed uncontrollably for 10 minutes.

What a strange day.

Had to vent.

Thanks.

"Mommy Stuff"

My first post on my new mommy blog.

I never thought I'd write that sentence.

Actually, this blog is not THAT new. I created it well over a week ago but have been too chicken to post anything. Why? Because I never thought I'd be one of those moms who blogs about everything in her life. I never thought I'd feel the need to let everyone know what was going in in my life. Truth be told, I occasionally think that blogging is the only way these moms communicate with people older than ten. You know, their outlet to other moms, or adults in general, because they either haven't the opportunity to meet and socialize with other moms, or they haven't the people to do just that with.

Oh, wait, that's me...

I believe I fall into that category quite well. You see, I really don't have that many mommy friends my age. Actually, I know a ton. Well, not a ton, but a hefty amount. Do I talk to them on a regular basis? No. I do, however, pretend I talk to them. Now, before you deem me a psychopath, let me explain that last sentence. I have daydreams and fantasies of meeting with a group of young moms and their kiddies on a regular basis over some sort of activity, having fun, telling our daily insane episodes of..."mommy stuff"...and the sort.

Heh.

I've tried to reach out to fellow young mommies I know of. Tried to make a connection. Tried to keep what little connection I made. Failed miserably in the process. Why? No clue. I have no idea whatsoever as to why I cannot keep these connections alive. Is it just that us moms are too busy to have friends? Well, that seems stupid. To me, friends keep a person going. Friendships help people to live, whether it be socializing with a person, connection to that person, loving that person, whatever. Friendship is a solid part of a human being's life. We were all made to be together. A human would die if s/he were alone. In fact, that has happened many times over in society. So...being busy is not the reason. I can make time. So, let's try this again.

Maybe I'm scared. Why the heck would I be scared of the one thing I feel I really need right now? That's contradictory and nonsense. Moving on.

I dunno. Honestly. Back to square one. Is it just me or is this beginning to scream pity party?

Whatever the case may be should not be the reason why this is not working for me. I would love to meet up with young moms on a regular basis. I truly believe I would benefit from it greatly since they would understand everything that happens to me being a mom, since, well, they're moms too. That just seems right.

So, again, I ask, what is preventing me from doing this?

Well, I think I'll put this conundrum on the back burner for now. Until I successfully act in the sharing of "mommy stuff" with lovely young moms around town, this blog will just have to do.

I guess.